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Why all this tears

Why all these tears?
What’s the story?
Why feel this pain
Now, after so many years?
Is it necessary?
To rip up all the old wounds?
Can’t you just forget it?
Go ahead, look forward
You’re alive
Is there any harm done?
You are healthy
Be grateful for that
So go ahead,
Create a new life
for you and yours
Forget the old
And let the old wounds be

That’s what I feel I should have done
That’s what I feel the world thinks I should have done
Can anyone understand?
Why I can not let the old wounds be left alone?
Can anyone understand the pain I feel?

Well, I have tried for many years now
to keep a kind of distance to the pain ..
To keep myself away from pain
I received many sub-personalities
To keep myself away from pain
I have dissociated away time and place
It has not helped me ..
For though my head has refused to think of it,
Had it still happened
Although I have forced myself to forget
Did my body failed to forget it ..
Mind and body had their own memories
they let me recall
through nightmares and flashbacks
I have no choice but to take hold of it
and tear scabs of the wounds
so I can work my way through it
Only then can I create a future ………………..

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